|Sexual frustration: The butterfly effect of the bad mood
Last week we looked into the depths of chemical reactions within the brain before, during and after sex and how these wonderful ‘Nourishing Neurochemicals’ relieve your stress levels and help keep you happy. But what if the sex is bad? What if the sex is hugely disappointing – when single or even within enthrals of a long term relationship? Does this frustration stay in the bedroom or does it burden you with frequent bad moods....
|Denial of pleasure: Increase in your stress measure?
Feeling stressed? Let’s face it, good sex whenever you desire can help a world of problems! However a lack of good action can affect you in everyday life, even potentially increasing stress levels. This week we are taking a look into the links between good sex and its chemical reactions in the brain. Here we give you an insight to what spark those feel good factors!...
|Basic Instinct: Mono or Poly?
Last week we looked at Polyamory and the idea of having more than one ‘lover’ whilst in a long term relationship. Though still seen as relatively controversial the idea is slowly becoming more welcomed among Westernised society - But is our mating system a choice? Do the roots of sexuality stem back to the evolution of the human being? Are we meant to be monogamous?...
|Room for more? An introduction to Polyamory
Is monogamy monotonous? A lot of people are starting to think so... For those not familiar with the word ‘polyamory’ it may conjure up image of bigamy, cults and religion; bringing up negative connotations – however the truth is much different. Polyamory is all about love: unconditional love and honesty....
|Knowing When To Move On
You’ve tried all the advice in this month’s round up of women’s lifestyle magazines; romantic getaways and so many new sex positions that you may never walk again…but something still isn’t right. Addressing such issues could be as simple as upping the level in your communication - especially if the root of the issue lies in the bedroom. However, there’s a lot to be said for knowing when to call it a day; that key point of self-realisation....
|Turning Over: Women and Porn
When we say the word ‘porn’ there is often a stigma attached of seedy individuals watching cheesy films about men arriving at a scantily-clad woman’s house to ‘fix their plumbing’ and such like. The notorious ‘Deep Throat’ of 1972 was the turning point for the industry becoming mainstream, starting the era of ‘porno-chic’. The movie was quite the overnight sensation. Since then, however, porn has not had the best reputation, especially as far as...
|In Pursuit Of The Elusive Orgasm
Last week saw National Orgasm Day and we hope you all took advantage of the excuse! The magical orgasm is legendary but sometimes, especially for women - it can feel more like a myth.
It’s an incredible journey, but if you are yet to experience your big ‘O’ it can affect your self-esteem and confidence, especially with so many media/social pressures. Whether you reached your peak or not last week, let’s talk about it…
|10 Tips For An Extremely Hot Holiday
You never forget your holiday romances - either they were sexy, romantic and fun…or they were awkward, messy and cringe-worthy. There’s a lot of potential, but not preparing properly can leave you with little more than sand in places where sand should never be! On the other hand, they can be a great time to let loose. Whether you’re going away with a partner or plan on meeting a match on the beach (we already know from our earlier blog that...
|Slip Into Something A Little More Comfortable
Sometimes less is more, and this is especially true when it comes to our sexy attire; yet a large study by Natasha Turner for Huffington Post found that less than 1 in 10 Americans sleep naked.Because we can feel quite vulnerable when we sleep, snoozing in the buff may seem like quite a scary prospect, but it could also be the best way to open ourselves to new experiences. There are many benefits to going to bed in your birthday suit, and it’s...
|A Sexy Summer (Spring) Clean
Unbelievable as it is, we’re already half way through 2014 and summer is officially here! Let’s stop stressing about where the past six months have gone, now is the perfect opportunity to evaluate your sex life and get on with the more important things - like having great sex and enjoying the sun! Yes!...
|Where To Find Love This Summer
Picture it: Romantic sunsets, strolls along the beach hand in hand, and picnics in the park. Feeling sexier with the heat on our sun kissed skin and exuding an elevated mood from all that vitamin D - the longer days give us plenty of extra time to find that something special! Whether you're looking for your true love or a bit of fun, it turns out that where you're looking is a rather interesting factor to consider…...
|Happy Birthday to the Rabbit!
A thirtieth birthday is usually reason for a big celebration (as it includes wine, cake, and all the benefits of being young without the angst of your twenties), but when the birthday bunny has brought so much pleasure to so many people, there’s no excuse not to party! This year the rabbit is turning 30, so we want to take the celebration from the bedroom to the rest of the world, and share all the reasons why it’s so amazing!...
|Scoring This Season
Some football teams may have been banned from fooling around in this World Cup, but that just means that the rest of us will have to have even more fun to make up for it! So, if you’re finding things are getting a little steamy as the weather heats up and the footie kicks off, then strip off and have some fun between the sheets; because whether you’re supporting the same team as your partner, or the opposition, the one thing you should be uniting...
|Spreading Pleasure Around The World
For many of us, buying a sex toy is as easy as buying bread or milk (but much more exciting!), and pleasure is as accessible as any of the other basic need in life. But in other parts of the world - sex toys are illegal; reminding us that for some, the right to pleasure is harder to come by....
|Sex and Disability
Talking about sex is something that many people find somewhere between a bit awkward and apocalyptically hard to do. Talking about disability is also a topic that some find hard to discuss. So when the two of these things come together it can be a whole heap of awkwardness, but the result is that the people who may need to talk about it the most could be missing out. ...
|How Afterplay Can Improve Your Relationship
There are lots of things that you can do in 15 minutes. Watch half an episode of Sex and the City. Cook rice. Lots of other pretty average things. But, it turns out that's also all the time it takes to improve your relationship, which we think is a much better use of time! You’ve probably heard about the importance of foreplay (and it is important!), but it turns out that ‘afterplay' appears to be getting overlooked; and it's a shame, because it...
|The Dangers of Not Loving Yourself
In the past people thought that masturbation was bad for you. Well now it looks like ignoring your body’s self-love needs could be even worse! From the emotional benefits, to the physical, to the effect it can have on your relationship, deny your body at your own peril!
|Why May Is the Best Month of the Year
Congratulations everyone, you’ve just entered the best month of the year! May is Masturbation Month, and even though it should be every month, sometimes it’s nice to have a little reminder about the power of self-love to make you feel good!
|What Our Sleep Says About Our Sex Lives
Are you a night owl or an early bird? Do you have lots of sexual encounters or are you in a long-term relationship? These questions may not seem connected, other than suggesting whether you’re likely to be in a bar meeting Mr Right of an evening, but a new study has shown that they may well be. And it’s not just whether we’re getting up with the sun or going down with it, apparently our duvet dynamics can show a lot about our relationships too....
The word ‘dating’ is enough to bring even the bravest of us out in a cold sweat; and before a date it’s normal to spend some time worrying about awkward silences, foot-in-mouth moments and spillage disasters, and how to avoid them. It’s very natural to want a few tips to help you along the way from friends, family, and even the odd professional, normally; "Be safe, good luck, and call me if it’s really awkward and you need to escape" will do the...
|Cleaning Up the Streets
Catcalls, leering and full-on filth… chances are, if you're a woman and you've ever left your house, you’ve probably experienced some, or all, of these things. According to statistics, as many as 80% of women worldwide will experience street harassment - in many places it's so common it's not even noticed by bystanders; and yet there are lots of people who don’t believe it’s still happening. But ask almost any woman and they'll probably tell you...
|Great Friends, Great Benefits
For some people the phrase ‘ Friends with Benefits’ (FWB) translates into ‘a friend that will bring you cake sometimes’; and it’s true, cake is a great benefit to any situation… but the traditional meaning is a lot racier. Many of us will have experienced the feeling of wanting something more from a friendship, but may have worried about risking the relationship by taking it further. There are ways that it can be done safely though, and in those...
|How to Achieve Ecstatic Consciousness
If the saying ‘good things come to those who wait’ is even a little bit true, then tantric sex and the art of prolonging pleasure may have hit the nail on the head. Part of the fun of sex is the opportunity to try new things and to bridge the gap between our physical, emotional and sexual selves; and one way to do that is to draw inspiration from other cultures and practices. Tantra has a reputation for taking sex to another level; and, after a...
|Lights, Camera, and Lots Of Action…
Part of the fun of really good sex is remembering it afterwards; and daydreaming is great, but being able to actually watch it again is even better. Whether it’s to relive sexy moments, or spice things up in the bedroom, there are lots of amateur actors out there, and why not! Sex tapes are fun and can give us a whole new way of seeing ourselves, our partners and our, er, performance....
|Sex in different Cities- Long Distance Relationships
If life - and the plot of almost any 90s romcom - has taught us anything, there’s nothing more frustrating than finding that special someone… and having them announce they’re moving away. We all know that couple (and at some point have probably been that couple) that disappear half way up the country every weekend to see their partner, and spend evenings desperately trying to figure out how Skype works....
Single or in a relationship, the question that almost every woman fears is the inevitable, ‘So, are you married yet?’ The pressure to settle down, get married and have a family - whether it comes from internal or external places - can make a lady want to get very unladylike with anyone foolish enough to ask them about it....
|International Women’s Day
Considering that roughly half the population of the world is female, their rights have always been uncertain. It’s shocking, because there have been amazing female rulers - from Cleopatra to Queen Elizabeth - who are both powerful and intriguing; it’s been shown time and time again that women are as smart and as capable as men; they have the ability to carry out a vital social function by bearing children… and yet they’re still often treated as...
|Postcode Dating - The Good, The Bad and The Awkward
Online dating may have become more popular, but as the internet connects people from all over the world, it can throw up some problems of its own. For example, you might meet your perfect match online and then find out they live 200 miles away; which is very inconsiderate and makes for a very expensive date! But, when it comes to postcode hook-ups, that’s not something you have to worry about....
|The Importance Of Pro-nouns!
We all need to have the freedom to refer to ourselves in whatever way we choose: male, female, trans, FTM… if you want to be referred to as ‘Unicorn’ then that’s your prerogative. But until last week social media was a little behind the times; the only gender options available were ‘him’ and ‘her’, basically alienating massive sections of society....
Considering that being happy should be a priority for all of us, it’s amazing how often it loses out to less fun things, like work, running errands, and looking after others. Some of these things give pleasure in their own way, but it’s easy to go through a day without stopping to reflect on the things we enjoy and to make more time for them....
|The Best Gift You Can Give On Valentine’s Day
Despite the fact that stores start painting themselves pink even as they sweep the last bits of wilted tinsel into bins, Valentine’s Day still somehow manages to surprise us every year. And for some people – whether because they’re single or because buying gifts on V-day is stressful - Valentine’s Day can mean anguish, and a boycott of every happy person in the area. The good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way; it turns out that the best...
|5 ways to become an online dating ninja
There’s always been a strange taboo around meeting someone online; it doesn't have great connotations and there’s always the raging fear that the dark haired, twenty-five-year-old musician you’ve been talking to will actually turn out to be a bold, 90-year-old mathematician (nothing wrong with that but it would be a shock to the system). In short - the internet can be a strange, strange place. ...
|Invasion of the Body Swappers
Since we were kids our mums have been telling us to look at situations through someone else's eyes…but they probably didn't mean quite like this; recently, there have been two tech developments that may let us experience sex, and what it’s like to be another gender, through your partner's eyes. They may end up at the bottom of the wardrobe with unwanted Christmas presents and shopping channel gadgets, but if they open lines of communication then...
|The Key To A Happy Relationship?
A study has found that the couples happiest in their relationships are gay, childless or tea-makers (people who do small gestures like making tea for each other, not necessarily baristas)! At the end of the day though there isn’t any ‘formula’ for a happy relationship, and it’s impossible to generalise as every relationship is different.
|Forget the gym, have sex instead
We’ve all heard that sex is a good form of exercise, but to be honest it’s usually something we tell ourselves when we can’t be bothered to get out of bed and go to the gym. But apparently we were right all along, and now you can legitimately feel good about burning calories between the sheets instead of on the treadmill (and let’s face it, who wouldn’t prefer that)!...
|Beat The January Blues
The January Blues is a pretty rubbish sensation. It's an empty feeling (which is at least partially in your bank account); includes a tendency to find lost relatives wondering around your house weeks after the family Christmas party; and a desire to carry on partying like it's December but without the energy, funds or invites....
|The Gift Everyone Should Be Getting…
There’s only one more sleep ‘til Christmas, and all your presents are wrapped (maybe), children asleep (unlikely), and you’re relaxing, glass in hand, by an open fire (well, we can dream)....
|SOS: Save Our Sex!
You’ve heard about safe sex; well, now we want to save sex! There are reports that in Japan they’re losing interest in relationships, and that even here in the UK our sex drives are burning out as our hard drives are firing up; apparently we’re having less time between the sheets in favour of more time on our tech. ...
|Time To Be Advent-urous
According to our parents, some of us are apparently now ‘too old’ for advent calendars. Whilst that may be true of chocolate Disney calendars (OK, you’re never too old for chocolate OR Disney) we’ve decided that there are definitely advent calendars that are still, er, age-appropriate.
|There's A Pill For That
The pill marked a major turning point in the sexual revolution and the lives of women all over the world – and now it looks like there might be one for men too! ...
|Thankful For Pleasure
It probably isn’t too much of a stereotype to say that talking about ‘feelings’ and things comes much more easily to the Americans than to us Brits. They say let’s talk, we say where’s the nearest box I can hide in. Obviously this isn’t true for everyone but the fact that the Americans have Thanksgiving is just one of many examples. And to be honest, we think we’re missing out over here....
|Regrets From Last Night
‘Last night’ is a magic time; the best things always seem to happen then. But unfortunately, often so do the worst. Especially if there’s alcohol involved (and who are we kidding, there usually is). It used to be that only celebrities would have their awkward photos or breakups become part of the public sphere, but now that a Facebook picture is never more than a drunken finger-swipe away, it just increases our capacity for embarrassing...
It may not officially be winter yet but our bodies are telling us otherwise: it’s getting darker earlier and leaving the house is the wrong answer to any question. So, start mulling your wine and cider, bake some gingerbread and snuggle up with these tunes to keep yourself warm. And if that doesn’t do it, getting aroused increases your body temperature, so have some fun while you’re at it; we don’t want you catching cold......
October was Breast Cancer Awareness month, and now it’s the guys’ turn! During the month of MOvember men everywhere will be growing out their soup strainers to raise money and show support for prostate and other types of male cancer....
|Halloween: Secretly The Sexiest Holiday
Halloween, admittedly, doesn’t have the reputation for being the most romantic holiday (or, in fact, of being any holiday, as we’re still expected to work during it). Every year it loses out to Valentines and Christmas and Anniversaries, but that’s all the more reason to use that to your advantage and lead the way in making it the sexiest day of the year. ...
|The Masters Of Sex
It takes quite a lot to earn the title ‘Master of Sex’ – and throughout the years there have been some very strong contenders! – but Dr William Masters and Virginia Johnson, at the forefront of the sexual revolution in the ‘50s and stars of the new television series, have probably been up there with the most deserving (and are also currently providing us with some great TV)!...
|Dirty Little Secrets
Maybe you once cheated on a spelling test, or ‘accidentally’ hovered up your sister’s evil pet hamster (we’ve never done that. But if we had, no court in the world would convict us, because that thing was the antichrist); big or small, dirty or silly, shared between sheets or between friends after a few glasses (bottles) of wine, we’ve all got them: secrets. Crushes, indiscretions, romances, preferences, fetishes, dislikes, grudges; the secrets...
|Questions With Emily
Emily Morse is a dynamic sexpert and host of top downloaded sex and relationship podcast 'Sex with Emily'. She is a dynamic, sincere and warm woman who has helped millions of people have the sex and relationships they want but couldn’t figure out how to get. Emily has been voted the #1 dating and sex expert by DatingAdvice.com and the #1 dating and sex expert to follow on Twitter....
|A Friendly Reminder To Feel Yourself Up
Boobies, funbags, nunga nungas, melons…whatever you want to call them, we can all agree that they’re pretty important! October is breast cancer awareness month and that means there’s NO excuse for you not to be checking yours. Or checking someone else’s...but only if they’ve given you express permission to. Otherwise you’re probably going to end up in prison....
|Your Life, Your Future,Your Choice
In many areas of the world, women and men are able to make the same kinds of choices: from the political party we vote for, to whether we work or not, to the contraception we use; however, tomorrow is World Contraception Day and it’s a harsh reminder that not everyone has these options. ...
|Break-Up First Aid Kit
Maybe it ended with a handshake and awkward kiss; maybe it ended with a slap and ceremonial bonfire consisting solely of their Bob Dylan back catalogue and band t-shirts (tip: if it’s flammable, it’s better in a skip/the street). But what’s universal is that whether it was the love of your life or a casual fling, breaking-up is about as much fun as pulling teeth. And at least there’s usually anaesthetic for that....
|Make Every Day A Healthy, Happy, Sexy Day
Despite the best efforts of the '90’s pop band Salt-N-Pepa, who sang, ‘Let’s Talk about Sex’, safe sex and sexual health is still worryingly under-discussed. Last week on September 4th it was World Sexual Health Day and we wanted to show our support for healthy, happy sexual experiences (in case you weren’t aware that we’re kinda into that!) and help promote the message that part of a happy sex life is to know your sexual rights, and to be...
|Saving The World...One Breast At A Time?
When superheroes get a bad rep (Batman, Kick Ass etc.) it’s usually because of a) a misunderstanding or b) a super villain’s evil master plan. THIS superhero, however, has definitely pushed the boundary between ‘misunderstood’ and ‘assault’…even though he claims to be doing it for the good of women. The story of ‘Boobsman’ has surfaced after he was filmed running around the streets of Poland grabbing women’s breasts, to check their health. Which...
|Did It Hurt When You Fell From Heaven?
It can be daunting approaching someone that you fancy without coming off as weird, sleazy or like you might crazymurder them at any minute: flirting can turn into random words uncontrollably coming out of your mouth, and one wrong move can lead to a drink in the face, which is just a waste of gin. ...
A few weeks ago I went to a Turkish bath - or ‘hamam’ - in Istanbul with some friends for a massage. Having been to Turkish baths before, I vaguely remembered the experience as being massaged with a giant pillowcase full of foam, in swimwear, in a private marbled room. Basically: a good time. So I was a little worried when I turned up and it looked like my local swimming pool had been given a 16th century Ottoman Empire makeover. And then they...
|A NU Way Of Thinking
With the scorching temperatures this summer we’ve all been daring to bare a bit more than we usually would, and especially if you’re in the UK you’ll know that as soon as the clouds start to disappear so do guys’ shirts. The downside is that, for anyone with a less than Zen-like comfort level with their body, it can breed self-consciousness faster than you can say, ‘Where’s my top gone?’...
Ever been talking to someone who’s started texting mid-conversation? Had a rage blackout and ended up throwing their phone off a bridge? Pretty understandable. Now imagine that they’re doing it during sex: the consequences could be nuclear. ...
|Something Old, Something New...
It’s a time for happiness and celebration – and we’re not just saying that because we glimpsed the sun for a few weeks! Whether you’re getting hitched yourself, are just along for the ride, or are staying well out of the danger zone, the signs are telling us that wedding season is well under way!...
|Random Acts of Kindness
The sun is out, you’re feeling good (or, if you’re British, you’re feeling a strange, intoxicating mix of unexpected vitamin D, dehydration and joy) and it’s the perfect time to help others feel good too!...
|Never Have I Ever...
Up a tree, in a car boot, during a parachute jump at 5,000 feet: we’ve all had the conversation - whether with partners, friends, or after half a bottle of Sambuca at your boyfriend’s parent’s house with ten of his closest mates - ‘What’s the craziest place you’ve ever had sex?’...
Your skiis are now a makeshift sun lounger, your coat’s marauding as a picnic blanket, and the only umbrellas you’re using are the ones in your cocktails; temperatures have been scorching of late so to celebrate the fact that things are heating up we’ve made you a steamy playlist, and we’re not gonna lie, it’s pretty hot......
|Master in the bedroom
Earlier this year we put the spotlight on the world of BDSM, that apparently dark and shady world that many of us refrain from entering into for fear of what it may entail (or turn us into). It's a world that I wanted to investigate more, and share the insights with you! I was very fortunate to be invited to one of Coco De Mer's exclusive after-hours salons in Covent Garden, London, where Master Dominic was holding court. Not knowing what to...
|Fun In The Sun (...Or Mud)
Festival season is kicking off with a vengeance, and whether you’re hitting the muddy fields of South-West England, or the scorching Nevada desert, we’ve got a few tips to help you make the most of your experience and have some fun in the sun!...
June first brings brides, and then gives us LGBT Pride’s fantastical rainbow spell all over the United States of America and beyond. From sea to shining sea, we pay homage to our fabulous forefathers and mothers’ pride and courage to be ‘out’ and about. ...
|Just Another (Naked) Wednesday
At one – admittedly less interesting – point in my life, I would usually only see naked strangers of a Wednesday night if I was watching Sex and the City, but in the last few months it’s kinda started happening on the regular. As I’ve said before, burlesque/stripping is (apparently) now my thing, but last week I decided to brave a life drawing class in Finsbury, which I arrived at to find a ready-nude man waiting for me! What’s more surprising is...
|Don't Tell The Bride
Wedding season is upon us, and amongst the confetti-storm of pre-wedding stress, the hen do/bachelorette is meant to be a chance for the bride-to-be to forget that her dress has arrived three sizes too big, the rings three sizes too small, and that her fiancé managed to get locked on the roof of a hotel in Vegas on his stag party (or maybe that was 'The Hangover'…!) So, it may seem like there’s a lot of pressure on the bachelorette, but keeping a...
|Save The Earth: It’s The Only Planet With Sex
June 5th is World Environment Day, and there are a hundred different reasons to save the planet, for example: love, chocolate and the desperate need to see what happens at the end of Game of Thrones. ...
|The Boys Are Back In Town
Now, I’m not saying that watching people strip is something that I do a lot, but writing this post has made me realise that it happens more than is probably usual (in my work life at least)! Last Wednesday I was at London Burlesque Festival watching men get their kit off - for a change - (and it’s about time to be honest), marking the third burlesque performance I’ve seen in about 8 months; though maybe that says more about how good burlesque is...
|‘It’s Just Sex…But With Someone I Like’
We’re half way through Masturbation Month so by now you should be used to showing yourself a good time! As we’re sure you’re aware, we’re big believers in the power of self-love to make yourself feel fi-ine: it’s free, safe, and releases mood-boosting neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, which are basically your body’s chemical hallelujah. But, instead of boring you by going on about how awesome masturbation and orgasms are – because of...
|Mother's Little Helper
We believe that pleasure should be universal, so whilst Je Joue’s UK HQ may be eternally jealous of those enjoying strange things like ‘corn dogs’ (seriously, what are they??) and ‘sunlight’ over in the US, we’ve decided not to hold that against them; when we heard that May 12th is Mother’s Day over the pond, we realised that a) there are still some important things we can take from this day that need to be shared INTERNATIONALLY and b) these...
|Not All Good Things Come To An End
So hopefully by now, discovering your G-spot is beginning to make up for the fact that Santa, fairies and low-fat chocolate (sadly) aren’t real! ...
|The Secret Your Body Wants You To Discover
If you‘re hunting for buried treasure, you need a decent map; you wouldn’t attempt to tackle a cross-country adventure without one either (unless you’re Frodo in LOTR, which got him into all sorts of trouble); and if you’re trying to find your G-Spot, it makes sense to have one on-hand too. So we’ve gathered a few things together as your own G-Spot ‘spirit guide’ – less tricky than Gollum and less confusing than a road-map!...
|Your Body's Personal Holy Grail
The well-publicised debate about the existence of the G-Spot can make us feel like a cat watching a tennis match: the media tell us that it exists one day, and doesn’t the next. Research has been published supporting both arguments, so many have remained sceptical, torn between a desire to believe that it does exist and the fear of getting their hopes up in case it doesn’t. But what may not be as commonly known is that it all began back in the...
|The G-Spot Does Exist!
People say there’s no mystery left in the world; that once you’ve found out that Santa, E.T. and sparkly vampire men aren’t real, there’s very little that can cause both wonder and joy. Well, luckily for you, we’ve decided to name this month G-SPOT MONTH and prove to you that there’s at least one ‘myth’ that is real, and is also many different kinds of amazing (and more fun for adults than any of the things listed above)....
|One Billion (And One)
In the last couple of months we’ve had International Women’s Day, V-Day, One Billion Rising and hundreds of demonstrations across the world to end violence against women, so I decided to celebrate by going to see the eternally controversial Vagina Monologues. I’d heard of Eve Ensler’s infamous monologues, and – like most of the other girls I went with (our male friends had suddenly remembered things they ‘had’ to do) – had always wanted to take a...
|(40 Days And) 40 Nights…
Some of us celebrate Easter in memory of the resurrection of Christ. For others, it’s all about chocolate and how many mini eggs you can fit into your mouth during a game of ‘chubby bunny’ (we don’t recommend this without supervision, by the way). For anyone who’s given something up for lent though, it’s about getting what you want after denying yourself for (roughly) 40 days and 40 nights; and even though this began with the Christian faith,...
|How To Give Good...News
One of the most stressful (and my least favourite) tasks in life has to be talking about awkward things: for example, giving someone big or bad news. This is especially true if: I'm not sure how the other person will take the news, and think they might react badly; it’s a social taboo (like, ‘I want to try sex toys’); like me, you’re British. No matter how many times I prepare the speech in my head, when it comes to telling someone something that...
Many of us are guilty of displaying the same attitude toward older people having sex as the British do towards tea without milk: namely awkwardness, then deep, deep denial. The truth is that whilst we are constantly bombarded with images of young, pin-up, Hollywood couples getting it on, it’s much rarer to see a representation of anyone who doesn’t fit that mould – anyone over middle age, for example - enjoying satisfying sex lives or feeling...
|A Dating Lottery
At 9:30pm last Wednesday I found myself gripping the sides of a table, staring - with what I hoped wasn’t a totally manic glint in my eye - at the 20th man I’d met that evening. Nope, I wasn’t interviewing for my parole lawyer; I was speed dating. Like online dating, speed dating is becoming increasingly popular and in response, companies are coming up with increasingly creative ways to make the prospect of meeting a small army of potential...
|The Human Body’s Sexiest Muscle
This week we have a special guest post from Ellie at the health and wellbeing website Stress No More on the benefits of keeping a toned pelvic floor through kegel exercise – enjoy!...
|You Spin Me Right Round...
When someone says the words ‘pole dancing’, our minds take us to dingy clubs where bored-looking strippers throw themselves around a cold metal bar for the amusement of bored-looking businessmen. ...
|V For Victory!
If you’re single on February 14th, leaving the house will probably end in a stand-off with a box of chocolate hearts before retreating to the closest drinks aisle; if you’re with someone, the social etiquette minefield is enough to have you beating your brains out with the Marvin Gaye CD guaranteed to ‘get your lover in the mood’.
|Take Back Valentine's Day
It’s rapidly approaching the time of year that makes single people want to watch bad Slasher films, eat entire boxes of chocolate and then embark on sugar-fuelled rampages across town; and people in relationships fear their significant other might scratch their eyes out with the thorns of the roses they’ve given them (every year for twenty years).
|The Naked Truth
We don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say that people getting naked is something that modern society is obsessed with: despite the fact that we’re all totally nude under our clothes, the cult of celebrity, with their strange, mystical bods, seem to really get the cameras flashing and our collective pulse racing. Maybe we’re just hoping to catch a glimpse of something that proves beyond a doubt, that yes, they are a different species to...
|Feeling All Tied Up?
Usually, giving someone a good beating will land you 5-10 years; enjoying the beating would probably put you in a place where you can chew on the padded walls all day long. But when referring to BDSM – something which, at least superficially, appears to involve just that – society is starting to swing the other way, and from our best-sellers to our bedrooms, kink is officially in....
|The Buzz About FOMO
FOMO, or fear of missing out, is the latest buzzword in the modern woman’s world. Ever been sat at home on a Friday night, initially overjoyed to have a moment to yourself but then sobbing into your Ben and Jerry’s as your traitor of a twitter-feed is flooded with pictures of your friends at #theBESTpartyever? That’s FOMO. And it’s starting to spill over into our sex lives. We’re expected to do so much nowadays that it’s baffling that we have...
|Girls In Real Life
The New Year has been a much anticipated event in my life for some time now. Not just because it was an excuse to buy a sparkly dress that makes me look like a giant disco-ball and dance like a maniac, but because the second season of Lena Dunham’s ‘Girls’ is being released. Everyone has a series that causes them to anticipate each episode like a squirrel that’s spied a nut roast but if, like me, you’re still living with your parents in an...
|At The Climax of the Year
Hollywood has, on several occasions, predicted that by 2013 we would be well on our way to riding around on hover boards whilst our housemaid robots do the cooking for us (thanks for getting our hopes up, 80s). As we clearly don’t have the Terminator dicing our carrots for us yet, it’s easy to fall into the trap of stressing about the things we haven’t achieved, collectively and individually, rather than focusing on what we can do to move...
|Orgasms Are For Life, Not Just For Christmas
Rumour has it that the magic of Christmas is just for kids. Ok, so as adults we get to: eat mince pies until raisin-poisoning genuinely becomes a concern (one year it’s going to happen!); see snowmen appear everywhere (including some last year in compromising positions that we won’t discuss here); and stress for weeks beforehand about what to buy our families, friends and milkmen (and then leave all our shopping to Christmas Eve anyway). ...
|When Education Got Fun!
There are certain things that we think it’s OK not to know (Justin Beiber’s date of birth, for example). But there are some things that we believe it’s good to know, and top of this list is information about our bodies and sexuality. In a previous post, we applauded the relaxing of attitudes toward sex in recent times, but it’s also true that many of us are still living in a bit of a sexual Dark Age. This particular topic may not be top of...
|Coming Out Of The Closet
Sometimes it’s easy to feel like we’re living in a bad Victorian movie, keeping our ankles (metaphorically) under wraps and sexual desires firmly behind closed doors. But, thanks in no small part to a few brave pioneers - such as lovely ladies Kate Chopin, Anais Nin and Helen Gurley Brown - a sexplosion in the last century has not only brought sexual expression into mainstream culture, it’s now starting to influence it.
|Not Your Average Saturday Night Out
The other Saturday night I found myself watching a nearly-naked woman removing her stockings with her teeth. For some of you, this may be your standard Saturday (unfortunately for me there’s typically a lot less nakedness and a lot more Chicken Cottage), but I bet that even if it is, you’re not usually in the same room as 50 other people with a job-lot of glitter, feathers and nipple tassels....
|Behind Closed Doors
Religious or not, there are few better things that get us into the spirit of Christmas than the advent calendar. Mince pie season is September to March, Christmas cards appear in the shops millennia before Christmas itself, but you truly know that it’s Christmas when you peel back that ‘1’ door on December 1st....
|A Time To Give Thanks
Thanksgiving stretches our waste-bands with turkey and the trimmings (basically what our British cousins simply have for dinner every Sunday) and primes and preps us for Holiday eating in the coming months. Friends and family come together during the worst travel days of the year to share a gluttonous meal, Macy’s blows up giant balloons, NFL football has 30 games for us to watch and many of us reflect on the things that we are grateful for in...
|Cupcakes And Christian Grey
Once, in an English class at school, we were asked to blind compare two passages - one was Mills & Boon, one was a Classic (D.H. Lawrence I think)- and to guess which was which. Of course we all guessed wrong, illustrating two things: one, that ‘literary’ authors can still be filthy, and two, that our prejudices toward a genre may stop us reading something that still has literary worth. Ok so adding a few sex scenes doesn't automatically produce...
|We Never Thought Our Morning Walk To Work Could Be So Thought Provoking...
A few months ago we were walking to work when we were confronted with an unusual and extremely large billboard ad, after which we can tell you the following: seeing a giant poster for condoms first thing in the morning will definitely wake you up. After a few weeks the ad was replaced with something marginally less controversial (Lana del Rey’s pout) and then yesterday, like a mini, safe-sex miracle (well, more like a massive, building-covering...
|Don't Let The Kids Have All The Fun
When it comes to things that go bump in the night, Halloween is the perfect holiday for demons, daters, spectres and singles alike: traditionally a time when spirits are closer to the land of the living, it’s become an evening when anything goes. So, instead of taking the typical, adult view of the day and bemoaning the usurpation of religious holidays by the card companies, this year we urge you to throw cynicism out the window and embrace an...
|Let's Talk About Sex
Let’s be honest - in the past it was generally assumed that the only people who used sex toys were deviants who lacked a second pair of hands; desperate housewives in the depths of Suburbia; or men in trench coats lurking behind the velvet-curtain of respectability. But since the sex positive revolution is already under way, this raises some questions that need to be addressed. Ok, you may not have your friends casually drop, ‘Let’s talk about...
|Back To School
This month, thousands of Freshers are being sent off with little more than beans and a pocketful of dreams (or the less advisable, pocketful of beans), into the big bad world of unsupervised living.
|Would You Call Your GP...?
When it comes to evolutionary importance the order is: apes; man; the wheel; the vibrator; everything else. We live in an age where there are some amazing vibrators available, but this is probably because humans have been perfecting the design for hundreds of years. Literally....
|Welcome To Our World
There’s no denying that 2012 has been a pretty exceptional year: London hosts the Olympics (and actually does a good job of it!); an erotic novel becomes the UK’s fastest selling book of all time; and Je Joue launches a new blog to accompany its fantastic new website! ...