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Love is in the air here in London! Single? Let’s look at dating
If you have been out of the dating game for a while, it can be an interesting world to re-enter. The initial go-to these days is online dating, but this is not the be-all and end-all for potential partners. There are, however, many miracle love stories that happen through online dating. If you are serious in finding someone special the more reliable sites will most probably charge a subscription. There are many free dating websites and mobile apps, which tend to be more popular for sourcing casual hook-ups; fine if you are looking to casually spice up your sex life (just always remember your personal health and safety.)
Steering away from the computer screen and back to the seduction of the sun, ‘real life’ dating for a serious match can be a daunting feat. It’s all well and good when your friends instruct you to “get out there!” But where is ‘there’…exactly?
First you need to establish what you are looking for in an ideal partner; write a list of attributes, personality traits, interests and even appearance. Though this may seem shallow at first, it will allow you to recognise your desires. Take a highlighter and mark the ‘must haves’ on the list - why should you settle for anything less? Knowing your worth and value as a single person and setting your sights high is key to finding a partner you deserve. As famed life coach Adam Sicinski points out “Every relationship must have shared goals, beliefs and values that synergize perspectives and actions and move the couple towards a certain direction with clear, concise and precise objectives.
Clues to finding your next date will be in the list you have created. If you have noted that your partner must be a dog lover, then take yourself to the park on a sunny afternoon. If you are looking for someone with a keen interest in art, then increase your chances by visiting galleries more often. The more you put yourself in the situation where your potential beau's interests take place, then you will have a much higher chance of finding your match. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to make the approach! One simple hello can change your life.
The worst-case scenario is someone not wanting to engage in that moment. Don't let the risk of this dishearten you. Clearly if that happens, it's not meant to be! Relationship expert and life coach Patti O'Rourke suggests, “You may even want to try dating out of your comfort zone, just to see what you learn about yourself. After all, dating can be thought of as a practice of getting to know yourself better.”
Whichever way you choose to meet new people for potential romance, there are a few factors to consider about yourself when re-entering the dating game. Knowing yourself well is essential. Figuring out your boundaries is highly recommended. Sometimes we lose sight of our values when we hit the honeymoon period of a new relationship - and this can lead to you thinking someone is a great match when, actually...you'd be better off without them! Also take note of what you enjoy doing alone as time for yourself is important and can get lost in a relationship.
Review what might give you dating worries, confront your past relationship demons; chances are history won’t repeat itself. However, it's good to look at past relationships and the bigger picture - try and notice any patterns that you don't wish to take with you into your future. If you find yourself becoming anxious or worried, relax into the present moment.
Unnecessary stress about past woes or future hang-ups is pointless. There is nothing to gain - remember every case of a relationship is different. If you are prone to this, Patti suggests a meditative breathing exercise which will calm your mind and alleviate any tensions, “Take a breath in to the count of five, then out to the count of five. Repeat ten times. Try to feel the sensation of the air on your skin. Continue the breath and send warmth all the way across your chest, to your heart and your lungs.”
Spring is known as the time for new beginnings, and a perfect time for dates in the sun. Harness that spring in your step and enjoy the moment, you never know when you will meet that someone special.