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Anal Play: The Pursuit of Pleasure
How to explore your anal pleasure points safely
As discussed in our blog, both sexes have pleasure points within the anal region, which when stimulated can lead to mind-blowing orgasms.
The female nerve system, which ultimately produces our pleasure and orgasms, actually links the nerve complex of the clitoris directly to the anal passage (see here). For men its known that, “Prostate stimulation can produce a "deeper" orgasm, sometimes described by men as more widespread and intense, longer-lasting, and allowing for greater feelings of ecstasy than orgasm elicited by penile stimulation only.”
For both sexes another pleasure point is the perineum. Described by Inside Love & Sex “The perineum is richly supplied with pleasure-receptive nerve endings, and is a major hidden hot zone.” Located between the anus and the genitals in both sexes, stimulating this pleasure point can be extremely pleasing. For women the perineum area is a specific erogenous zone known as the perineal sponge. Similar to the G-spot the PS-spot is, “erogenous tissue encompassing a large number of nerve endings, which can be stimulated through the back wall of the vagina or the top wall of the rectum” according to Seduction Science.
Exploring safely is key emotionally as well as physically. To put yourself in what could be deemed as a rather vulnerable position requires great trust, enabling you to fully let go, loose inhibition and lead to mind-blowing orgasm. The notion of comfort (see our previous insight) will allow for the true pursuit of pleasure, with complete comfort you will find yourself best relaxed to stimulate physically. Talk about having anal sex before you do it, it is an intimate act. Be sure that you are emotionally ready, likewise ensure you partner is ready too. Vocalise any worries you may have so that you and your partner can be considerate toward them
When sexually exploring the anal region, safety is of paramount importance. The anal tissues are delicate and can be damaged without preparation. Dr Debbie Herbanick advises “to trim and file your fingernails well before anal sex begins, thus eliminating any rough or sharp edges. If your nails are particularly long, pack them in cotton and wear a latex or non-latex glove.” The anal region is not self-lubricating therefore lubricant is essential! Its recommended you choose a lube specifically designed for anal play. If you or your partner have any concerns with cleanliness, for reassurance try taking a shared shower or bath first. This can be great foreplay as washing each other can really help relax and deepen the intimacy. Health wise, sexuality expert Cory Silverberg reminds us “not to move anything from the anus to vagina -- bacteria that live quite happily in the anus with cause havoc in the vagina.” Either washing in between or using condoms is recommended.
For both partners, beginning with external buttock massage before anal play creates intimate connection and builds the sexual anticipation. Communicate readiness when the anal muscles are physically relaxed and you are emotionally ready, there is no rush. Ease into it starting with the fingers, consciously breathing slowly and deeply will assist in getting used to the feeling. For him this is where prostate play comes into action. Askmen describe the prostate gland as “a small, chestnut-sized bump situated approximately two inches inward and toward the belly button.” Gently massaging this with a ‘come hither’ motion, paying close attention to your partners reactions will lead to a mindblowing sexual experience for him. As long as she is comfortable, for her any anal stimulation will increase overall pleasure thanks to the nerve network in this area.
Anal toys can be introduced at this point to enhance the fun further. Be sure to choose any anal toys carefully, a specifically designed toy with a wide or flared base is safest. Without this precaution toys can be ‘lost’ and have been known to be hard to retrieve.
When you and your partner are ready, always start anal penetration gently and in slow motion, It’s not a race to get all the way inside, but rather a slow exploration that will satisfy you both. Remember communication is key to maintain the levels of trust, say what you feel so nothing can be misinterpreted. Whist being anally penetrated some women like to add to the sensation by using sex toys for added stimulation. Stimulating the clitoris, G-spot and anal canal at the same time will result in a beautifully, powerful orgasm – Je Joue Fifi has been tried and tested and recommended to us by a customer as the perfect additional dual stimulator when receiving anal. Explore with your favourite sex toys in conjunction with the added element of anal.