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Top 5 Sex Qs & the Sex Positive Answers

Find out the most common questions asked in a European sex shop 

5 Common Questions Asked in a Sex Shop

(& the Sex Positive Answers)

Brought to you by @jejoue and @bijouxindiscrets

1. AS A WOMAN, I SOMETIMES HAVE A HARD TIME BECOMING AROUSED. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT CAN BOOST MY LIBIDO?

Many women seem to want to feel desire and arousal more often than they currently experience. Stressful professional and family lives can detrimentally affect their intimate lives.

One response to this is to reduce the focus on performance and eliminate, as much as possible, pressure from the bedroom. Dedicating time to intimacy in a very busy agenda should be a priority to anyone who wants to experience more arousal – either alone or with a partner.

Sex/couple therapists actually recommend to overworked patients to schedule their intimate moments. An intimate moment should not necessarily be a spontaneous sexual moment, just an event where intimacy is encouraged and fostered.

The second answer to this rather unsettling truth is nourishing one's sexual imagination. In fact, while arousal is a physiological process, desire is rather a mental/emotional mechanism. Erotic literature proved to be a very efficient way to keep your sexual imagination alive. Reading erotic bedside books allow creating and developing sexual imagery, inspiring new fantasies and boosting the sex drive. 

And from a physiological perspective, wearing Geisha balls prior to an intimate moment proves efficient in increasing the blood flow in the genital area, improving natural vaginal lubrication and enhancing the control over vaginal sensations.

2. I WOULD LIKE TO DELAY MY EJACULATION IN ORDER TO HAVE A SIMULTANEOUS ORGASM WITH MY PARTNER.

Statistically, men need around 5 minutes to ejaculate during penetration, while women need an average of 20 minutes to have an orgasm.

It seems there is a gap of 15 minutes to fill.

First thing to be said is that simultaneous orgasms have been magnified through the lens of romantic cinema or the pens of sexually prolix chick lit.

Couples can have extremely satisfying sex without necessarily synchronizing their substantially different sexual responses.

Indeed, it is rather rewarding for both partners to focus on what they are feeling, in the moment,  instead of diluting  their sensations into performance-based, disconnected and athletic sex acrobatics.

Practically, men willing to prolong penetration, just for the sake of pleasure, can try harnessing abdominal breathing techniques.

In fact, men are wired genetically and hormonally to ejaculate faster when feeling stressed. One logical solution to delaying ejaculation might be relaxing through abdominal breathing. It has been proven to be way more efficient than any other visualisation technique that involves thinking about somebody you are not attracted to sexually.

Another very useful tip is using a ring (vibrating or not) to constrict the blood flow in the penis and therefore reduce the sensitivity leading ineluctably to longer sessions. For a better result the cock ring should be worn behind the testicles and the penis in order to limit the blood backflow.

3. I FEEL AROUSED YET MY BODY DOESN'T PRODUCE ENOUGH LUBRICATION. WHAT CAN I DO?

Vaginal lubrication can be variable because of factors ranging from physiological to psychological. It is often compared to the quality of erection to determine the level of arousal. The greater amount of vaginal secretions, the more women are turned on. While there is evidence that clitoral stimulation definitely intensifies vaginal transudation - sometimes stress, hormonal changes, specific medication can decrease the amount and quality of vaginal lubrication.

Lubricants are extremely useful and can add a new dimension to your sex games. Choose either water-based or silicone-based, depending on what you want. Organic water-based lubricants are a must to provide moisturising effects and silicone-based gels can be extremely convenient for long-lasting pleasure sessions thanks to their slippery effect.

4. HOW DO I PERSUADE MY PARTNER TO TRY BDSM?

It is very easy to adopt a binary behaviour when defining sexual roles: passive/active, dominant/submissive, top/bottom, master/slave, etc. Yet, sometimes this binary vocabulary can be a big restraint to sexual blooming!

A non-binary perception of roles helps keeping a power balance in the matter of pleasure. Role-play is all about exerting control and learning how to let go. You can either choose to take control over the course of actions or lose yourself into your partner's pleasurable will or you can actual both switch roles.

Taking control should be performed as a generous sexual gift and surrendering to your partner's sexual will is just accepting what your partner has to offer. In both situations you are actors, not spectators, because your intimate relationship is ruled by the inviolable law of consent.  

5. I AM TOTALLY NEW TO SEX TOYS WHAT SHOULD I TRY FIRST?

External vibrators for their non-penetrative functions are the best sex toys to begin with. They can nest very easily in the palm of your hand, transferring their deep rumbling vibrations to your fingers or to your partner's. Use them to explore all your erogenous zones and to enhance sensitivity during foreplay.

Cock rings like MIO, transfer their deep and subtle vibrations through the penis and can be used during intercourse. The erection is maintained, the glans and scrotum stimulated with MIO's fantastic low-frequency vibrations and the female partner is stimulated both internally and externally with incredibly deep sensations that will take your orgasms to a whole new dimension.